The Real Me

The downward slide in retail continues and I grow more impatient waiting for jobs so I am spending more time painting. I have to admit I am enjoying it more than I expected, I don't know why I’m surprised it was the only thing I ever did well. I am now experiencing the same satisfaction I did as a child, locking myself away in my room to immerse myself in the subject I was drawing, for hours on end I would dream up apocalyptic visions of major earthquakes, crumbling urban landscapes and my interpretation of the demise of Krypton. My mother used to worry about my choice of subject matter, "Why don’t you draw something pretty?" she would ask, pretty does'nt occur to a 9 nine year boy especially one who devoured comic books like I did. Little did my mom know that my drawings were a harbinger of things to come. All one has to do is pick up any news paper to realize we live in a world of earthquakes, failing urban infrastructure, and uncontrolled development, I was right all along. For the last 4 months I have exploiting my skills with animal paintings, a decision made solely on the fact that I’m not earning what I used to before the fall, don't get me wrong I really enjoy the animal thing, but its not my first priority in subject matter. I still adore all things worn and in need of care, old cars, ships, gas station/diners, decay of any sort and of course corner tap rooms especially with quilted stainless steel exteriors. I awoke the other night at 1 A.M. with the over powering desire to draw a place that I have passed a thousand times, enough pets! So I grabbed my camera and off I went. Standing there in front of my chosen subject I realized the reason why I had to capture this image, to make it mine, to preserve it forever before it was wiped out by a developer’s condo madness or worse a nostalgic reinterpretation at the hands of theme seeking restaurateurs. This is the real thing, standing there before me and this is the real me.