1. I think part of a best friend's job is to immediately clear your
computer history if you die
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start with # 5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my driveway.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it
asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical
report that I swear I did not make any changes.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
22.. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years
for men to realize that their brain is also important
.
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